INTOXICATIONS

***
- translated from 'qui vult potare deber prius os vacuare,' advisable table manners {from 'Quisquis es in Mensa,' 1300s} in Norbert Elias's 'The Civilising Process' {p.74}

If you wish to drink, first empty your mouth.***
I always wanted to spit in my own mouth.****

09/02/21

[AM]
14/02/21

[PM]
14/02/21

[AM]
12/02/21

11/02/21

[PM]
12/02/21

Stand on their shoulders, the(y) now say.  Whilst they all sit on mine.  Heavy but don't stop.  A stinging aching stiletto in the ear or a flat soft toe in the mouth.  Give me everything until I throw up gladly times.  Warming it onto the papers disintegrate, it doesn't matter anyway.  Put your fingers in it & make a vein in the mush.  Pad pad to rest in your nest with it.  Don't fathom it.  Pluck it & fat.

I am the only one me in this moment.  Is that what you want?  Do you want me?  Do you think you can have me?  You'll have to ask the other me.  The other me is me.  I am the one you want.  You can have me.  I am not the other me, I am me.  The moment is the other, I am always the one me who is also the other me.  I am the only other me in this moment.

A week of being, in the caves - our caves, fling light on flickering towers, they move - my reality when I turn around is mine - because they are watching - caves in the sky - & that couple still snogging, by the cave window - it's the end of the world but they're still trying to get a taxi home - the cave is a car park & my car is a cave - a cave within a cave near the English Caf.

BLIPS

Weird little surviving creatures

We crawl over the Earth

Remain still in 4 walls we enclose around Us

Natural paper weight & those we dwell

I am very very very small.  So small that I am featureless.  Like a not cute lump.  I am trying to stay warm.  But the covers are hard like solid tar.  I have no eyes to close so the number 7 engulfs me.  Down at the bottom of the stairs, drawing me to land.  No-Luck.  Rise back up to the corner & look out over it all & a tiny sticky limb pokes out.  Tie the tights together, make an escape that scares you.

PUTRID -ING

The migraine has finally won

Boiling thick gravy red

Why are there lumps in my glass?

Cloudy fucks me

When I said yes to everything I ended

up up up up

my own Babel.  The olive tree, the olive branch – all the empty chairs from that slick shot.  A hand on the knee &

out out out.

A corridor in the sky was only for moving.

Give me

the

drop drop,

give me

the

drip.

A box with thick whooshing lands me back.  From this perspective, the surveillance camera

rides up
right up

next to the peak.  Those flashing red lights have been signalling for years.  Every blind walk through uncovered bodies to the other side. And the other side was just the same, all the way above.  I am raw from looking & hiding.  What boredom to feel nothing & still come out pink.  These nights are for trying out new things.  I’d rather look up than down.

16/02/21

**
These shit artworks belong to DANTE, my 'Hell Cat' named after all the famous Dantes, especially Dante Alighieri {I believe there is a beautiful rung of Hell dedicated to felines}

{PM}
23/02/21

21/02/21

18/02/21

17/02/21

20/02/21

{AM}
23/02/21

{PM}
27/02/21

25/02/21

24/02/21

{AM}
27/02/21

DANTEUM*: Unfinished Portal

****
Inspired by SPLOOGE, thanks Tom Wambsgans in 'Succession.'

*
DANTEUM is an unbuilt monument in which Dante Alighieri's 'Divine Comedy' was to be translated into an architectural scheme by Giuseppe Terragni for Mussolini in the 1930s.

**

DRINK DRINK the ecstatic shards fall from the plaster cast eyes painted rosy cheeks not a waxwork me up work me down hold hands with the warm flesh you can press in front of the fireplace as your nose shapes out of line & back again if I could inject wine into my lips I would there's no place like home there's no place like home until every story non-fiction is a better one triptych of years of beliefs of selfish tuts of selfish gives PANDEMIC LOST light your candle with your rubbing alcohol.

PORTALS.

WE LIVE

WE LIVER

WE LIVERS

God our live(r)s

Clean in these squares
Until the liquor come through
Vampire windows for beer
Suck it in me not out
I am sinking in
& up my grave
Every sip
Silent

BUD everything wiser
I've ever dreamed
With the Big TV blaring
Nostalgia shots
Who needs taste?

MORTALS.

Everywhere at the end of time is a bar

Measures, who cares?

a glass

a glass

a glass

(bottle)

~

Landmessiah's got all the taps on pour

Sobriety serves the living

forgetting

forgetting

forgetting

(another?)

~

My feet are burning but I'm drinking

My throat is burning but I'm laughing

shot

shot

shot

(you're alive!)

~

Chins melt on rims fall on spills

Cats walk along the plank

pure

pure

pure

(blind?)

~

Back to the first days Grapes built

Every vineyard my sap

un(e)

un(e)

un(e)

(born)

HI FRIENDS HI A WHOLE A WHOLE ALL THE PIPS INSIDE CLAPPING AT ME WHO IS YOU FOR THEM WHO IS US ALL OF US ALL OF US RED LIGHT STATIC FIND A WAY TO DEHYDRATED HEAVY HEAD NOW LYING HERE & WALKING HOME 6AM STOP & START THERE & HERE & THEN & NOW HEAD HURTS CALM RUN THE RADIO SWITCH IN TESCO THE FRUIT LOOKS AT YOU HEAR IT(')S TEXTURED FLESH LISTENING TONGUE CAN YOU HEAR ME CHILD ME LOOK ME IN THE EYE YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN WHAT REMAINS FROM THE CROWDED SOUNDS YOU LEFT BEHIND FOR PURE MORNING SALES & WORK TO BE FREE HOLD THOSE INSIDES INSIDE LIKE YOUR RIBCAGE IS THE SUPERMARKET NOW LOOK AT THE LIGHT THERE IS LIGHT SECURITY SMILES TAKE ME BACK THOUGH I COULD GO ON FOREVER.

down it.